"Family"

That's an interesting (and now confusing) term. The traditional meaning of the term "family" doesn't exist in my life any more with the passing of my mother back in 2001. I have people tell me I'm "family" but I don't know what they mean.

Yesterday was Easter. The most important holiday in Christendom. Many in my "family" got together with each other for Easter Dinner and/or activities. My Easter Dinner consisted of leftovers from Saturday and fruit from this morning. My activities consisted of flipping channels on TV but nothing on to watch; filling out my unemployment claim form and taking it to the post office; coming back and looking again for something to watch. Had some movies I haven't seen yet but wasn't in the frame of mind to appreciate them. I was doing everything I could to distract myself from the fact that I was spending the holiest day in the faith alone. I had nobody to share a meal or do something with in celebration of His resurrection.

This whole thing reminds me of a song on Jennifer Knapp's Kansas CD named "Faithful to Me". The line in the chorus is, "You're the only One Who's faithful to me." That is true. Jesus is the only One Who has been faithful to me. Even when I haven't been faithful to Him. When I wind up alone on days like yesterday, I remember that song and wish Jesus had some skin around Him for the day. An actual, physical, human being I could talk with.

Like I said earlier, my mom was my traditional/natural (and later spiritual) family and we always got together on Easter whether for dinner or spending the day together. I remember those days as wonderful even when it was just small talk and overeating. Those days are gone now.

I'm sure the people who've told my I'm "family" mean well but it seems some holidays I am "family" and on others I'm not. The holidays I'm not "family" hurt...

Could somebody please tell me what the hell "family" means?