Surrogates

I saw Surrogates on Saturday. I enjoyed the movie and the way they used CGI to take years off the actors Bruce Willis and Rosamund Pike when they were connected to their surrogates. My first reaction after the movie was over was to look briefly but closely at the faces of the people around me outside the theater. I caught myself after a couple of minutes and had to chuckle at that.

I wondered about surrogacy in real life afterward. Are we ourselves when we interact with each other or are we using a "surrogate"? There aren't any physical surrogates like in the movie but what about psychological/mental surrogates? Do you put on a face for people you don't know? I used to a long time ago but then I met people who are genuine, who love genuinely, and who I genuinely love.

Surrogacy is basically a lie. You set up rules for interaction with others and some of the rules require hiding the truth. My surrogate was pleasant and non-committal. It let people know about me a little at a time. It gave as little information as possible and withheld information that I thought might be used against me. It's still there somewhat but that's more about being "cautious as wolves" and guarding my heart than hiding anything.

I've learned what it means to love unconditionally and to be loved unconditionally. It took a long time to get my head around that and a bit longer to understand it in my heart. I've had good examples in my life that helped me get there by just being who they are. Their example has helped me to grow rapidly and get rid of my surrogate.

I feel a freedom and a peace that I don't ever recall feeling before. It was something I wanted but couldn't seem to obtain until I stopped trying to obtain it and began learn who I am and the true meaning of unconditional love. I still have a ways to go but it's getting easier now learning not to use a surrogate but to be His surrogate.